


Kylo Amidala's Lightsaber

by Rebelwerewolf



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars: Bloodline - Claudia Gray
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crack, Innuendo, Inspired by Fanart, Kylo Amidala, M/M, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-25
Updated: 2016-09-25
Packaged: 2018-08-17 04:45:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8130919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rebelwerewolf/pseuds/Rebelwerewolf
Summary: "General," Carise Sindian said in a voice brimming with excitement, "won't you tell us how your meeting with Senator Amidala went?"





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pudding (pudding_and_poison)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pudding_and_poison/gifts).



> Inspired by [Pudding's wonderful (NSFW) artwork](http://the-pudding-is-a-lie.tumblr.com/post/150733623437/i-saw-fanart-of-these-piercings-credit-to).

Despite the previous night's unexpected turn of events, General Armitage Hux arrived at the First Order's office in the Galactic Senate fifteen minutes before the morning meeting was scheduled to occur. He prided himself on his punctuality, considering it to be one of his best traits. Besides, if he were to show up late the night after his meeting with Senator Amidala, there might be rumors, and Hux wouldn't stand for his reputation to be tarnished, especially not by something as inconvenient as the truth.

To his surprise, the office was already buzzing with activity. Thanisson was busy making a pot of caf. Mitaka was fiddling with some knobs on the holoprojector and muttering under his breath. Senator Carise Sindian of Arkanis sat primly in a chair, tapping away at her datapad. Arliz Hadrassian and a helmetless Captain Phasma chatted with each other animatedly. The moment they noticed Hux, the entire office fell silent. All pairs of eyes (and Hadrassian's single eye, her other one long-lost and the wound covered with an eyepatch) immediately focused on him expectantly.

Feeling compelled to speak, Hux cleared his throat and made a quick remark. "The meeting will start at 0800h as scheduled. We are still waiting on Senator Ransolm Casterfo."

"General," Carise Sindian said in a voice brimming with excitement, "won't you tell us how your meeting with Senator Amidala went?"

Hux kept an absolutely straight face and clasped his hands tightly behind his back. _He supports the First Order and lifting the embargo on Outer Rim worlds_ , that would be the proper thing to say. Before he could speak, his mind helpfully supplied him with the word "rimming", and his throat went dry.

Due to Hux's stone-faced hesitation, Arliz Hadrassian chimed in sympathetically. "Ah yes, I know that look. The look of a man who has been on the receiving end of Kylo Amidala's lightsaber."

"There have been others?" Hux barely avoided stammering, his heart pounding with an emotion he tried not to name as jealousy. Of course there had been others. Kylo was beautiful, and Hux would be a fool to think last night meant something.

Mitaka meekly raised his hand. "I -- I've seen it," he stammered. "It was terrifying but also beautiful. He's actually quite skilled, in retrospect, if you get past the fear." He gulped audibly and touched his neck delicately. "He also... He choked me." Mitaka looked down at the table and fell silent. Phasma let out a quiet cough and tugged her helmet on over her head.

Hux was furious. "Lieutenant Mitaka, that is highly inappropriate!" His voice was just shy of a roar. "And you're just a lieutenant! Why is Kylo Amidala going around --"

The double doors to the office flung open, and Ransolm Casterfo bustled in, red-faced and breathing hard, carrying a stack of flimsis, his ostentatious velvet cape trailing behind him. He glanced at the chrono on the wall. It read 0750h. A look of confusion crossed his face. "I thought the meeting started at 0800h."

"It does," snapped Hux. "But apparently this office likes to gossip about personal interests."

Ransolm set the flimsis down at one end of the meeting table. "Like Senator Amidala?" he asked. "Yeah, I could hear you through the door," he added sheepishly. Hux glowered at him.

"I'd just like to know how big his 'saber was. Did he do any damage? A man like that could be a great asset for you to have." Carise piped up again.

"Oh, it's massive," Ransolm responded, avoiding Hux's glare. "I saw it in passing once. It wasn't directed at me, but he was in a dark alley with this other man. He had some sort of weird mystical costume on, too." He shuddered. "It would be a medical miracle if that man could ever walk again. What I wouldn't do to have a weapon like that."

"See?" Hadrassian said, her gravelly voice sounding unusually kind. "We've all heard the tales, or, like young Mitaka, experienced him for ourselves. There's no shame in telling us about your meeting."

"Fine," sniffed Hux, assuming the stance and air of a practiced orator. "You want to hear how my meeting with Senator Amidala went? I'll tell you." He looked around the room, making eye contact with each person (and with Phasma's helmet, though he had the distinct feeling that she was averting her eyes), silently daring them to stop him. No one did. "He showed up wearing this outfit, and my heart almost stopped. He had me begging on my knees, and his lightsaber was indeed huge, the largest I've seen." Phasma made a small noise behind her helmet.

"Oh, you poor thing!" gushed Carise, rising from her seat. "You must have been so scared!" She hugged Hux tightly as he tried to struggle out of her grasp. He looked at Phasma for help, but his Stormtrooper captain seemed to be suffering from minor convulsions. He made a quick mental note to check up on her health later.

"That's quite enough!" Hux said, annoyed. When Carise finally backed away, he made a show of brushing off his parade uniform and straightening it out. "Thanisson, arrange for something nice to be sent to Senator Amidala's office. Flowers, or chocolate, or whatever you deem appropriate."

"Flowers, sir?" Thanisson squeaked. "Shouldn't we send him the repair bill?"

"There's no --" Hux paused, a look of confusion on his face. The realization dawned on him that he was having a very different conversation than the one his colleagues were having. His face flushed a bright red that perfectly complemented his hair. Taking a breath to calm himself, Hux called upon his officer training to find a strategic retreat. "Yes, of course. I was joking. Send him another meeting request for tonight as well. He is indeed a valuable ally, and this time I'll be ready for him."


End file.
